I am passionate about massage and feel that everyone should learn to massage or at least receive it but you don't have to learn full body massage, in fact you don't even have to learn how to massage people, you can learn to massage your pet.
The fact is, that everyone can massage, it is just a question of doing it right and having the confidence to do it but of course not every one is a natural masseur and so needs some guidance.
Learn to
massage for health,
and give massage to people who are chronically sick, disabled or elderly. It may be a relative or close friend who would really appreciate your care and concern by receiving a gentle massage. It is a great way to communicate your care.
Below are ten golden rules to give your partner a really good massage and the best way to learn to massage is by giving and receiving.
Sorry pet owners, this advice is for massaging humans!
Ten golden rules
Rule No 1. Never use massage solely as a way of getting to have sex with someone, unless they are already your lover and they are on the same wavelength as you. Massage after a hard day at the office might sound great but not when there are the kids to feed or put to bed.
Rule No 2. Massage without expecting anything in return. If you give a really good massage and your partner is tired, they might well fall asleep. If they do fall asleep, treat it as a compliment; your massage was obviously very relaxing. Never wake them to say that you are now feeling aroused.
Rule No 3. Don’t massage when you are tired, it will seem like hard work and won’t feel good to your partner.
Rule No 4. Remember that your partner’s body is like soft clay and not hard porcelain; you need to apply the right pressure. Too much and it will feel uncomfortable and too little it won’t feel satisfying and might even feel irritating.
Rule No 5. Don’t assume that because you know a few techniques, you are good at massage. Get feedback and don’t take it personally if something you do does not feel good. Learn from what your partner tell you.
Rule No 6. Always ensure that you won’t get distractions – kids knocking on the door or mobiles ringing are never conducive to relaxing massage.
Rule No 7. If you are going to massage the skin, always ensure you use a good quality
massage oil
with essential oil fragrance and make sure it is smell your partner likes. Smell is most important when using oils.
Rule No 8. The hands and the feet (providing your partner doesn’t hate having their feet touched!) are the least intimidating places to start, especially if you are your partner are new together. After these, the best place to start is on the upper back and shoulders (where we store so much of our stress).
Rule No 9. Make sure the room is warm and comfortable; use soft background music, candles and incense sticks. If it is a hot day, open the windows wide or better still go into the garden or countryside and find a lovely private, shady spot. It will be the best ever. You can massage anywhere it is warm and comfortable; the bath can be a great place with the one you love.
Rule No 10. Take your time and go slow. Be patient, never rush a massage. Find an easy rhythm and vary your strokes; if you do the same thing over and over, it will start to feel uncomfortable. Make sure your hands are relaxed and use your bodyweight for pressure; not just the strength of your arms, otherwise you will tire easily.
And finally: If you’re still uncertain about how to massage, one of the best ways to learn to massage is to receive one. Book a massage from a professional massage therapist and learn from how they massage you. Also read my page on
the intimacy of massage.
There are also many excellent books and DVDs about learning massage and of course if you want to learn to massage more in-depth, you can attend one of the many training colleges. Contact either
Massage Training InstituteMassage Therapy UK
or there are many local adult education courses. You will find an adult education course close to you.
