Depression

Having suffered from bouts of depression over many years, I know the feelings of emptiness and despair that come with it. The feeling of being locked into something, unable to set oneself free. Also the feeling that you are capable of so much more and yet unable to realise your potential.

Depression has different ways presenting itself in a person. There can be the really dark times when life seems impossible and then there are the times when you think you are ticking over okay until there is decision to be made or a direction to take but you can't face it; you want to run away because you are afraid the decision you will make will be the wrong one. This is a background depression which can haunt you for years. It is not visible or apparent but it can bring you down at any time, especially when the going gets tough. You feel you have no confidence and no strength, as if your life is always going to be blighted.

But there is a way out, I can assure you of that and it does not come from medication or treatment but from your own will. Your own will and determination to want a better happier life.

When I came to the decision that the only way I could go was toward a stronger and more determined me, the healing process really began. I swore to myself that I would become a better happier person and so it was. I learnt that the only person who has control over my mind was me and only I can change how I feel. I realised that depression was like an addiction, it gets a grip of you but I discovered that I had the power to break free from this because it was my mind and I could make it do what I wanted. I just had to change the way I was thinking. At the time, I didn’t see myself as worth much at all and I felt I was an abject failure and this make me feel ugly. But the process of change had begun because I started to see a new intelligent, amazing, beautiful me.

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Taking control

I realised that every day without fail I had to think about the beauty and wonder of life and my beauty and uniqueness, even though often I didn’t feel that way at the time. Even when I was feeling sad I learnt to feel grateful for life and I learnt to appreciate life through everything I saw, touched, heard etc.. Being thankful for life, even though it doesn’t feel good is central to gaining control and moving away from despair and toward happiness; which should be our ultimate goal.

Overcoming depression

Gratitude for life is so important; it is the appreciation for not only the bigger picture but the tiniest of ‘miracles’ that are around us in their millions: a seed turning into a flower, a new life forming in the womb, a bird feeding its young, raindrops and sunshine, the seasons changing, a spider’s web, billions of people all different and yet basically the same. I could go on but you get my drift. Life is amazing, truly amazing. How can we deny its beauty? How can we deny our own? The crucial factor here is redirecting our focus. It is not about being thankful for the death of a loved one but being thankful for their life, for our love for them and their love for us; for our ability to mourn and cry over our loss. We can be thankful for feeling sad and we can even feel thankful for feeling depressed BUT the focus must that this is something which is transitory which we are passing through - a growth period, something to learn from. We are growing stronger because of it. Turn your mind to the beauty that is all around and that which is you and in time you will begin to feel stronger, more optimistic and happier. However, it doesn't come quickly; it takes time to change years of negative locked in thought but be patient, it will happen.

Be the captain of your own destiny

When trying to change the way we think and behave, the analogy of the supertanker is a good one. When the captain wants to stop or change course, he will make the commands and the crew will respond immediately but such is the size of the ship, it will take much longer to respond. It can take up to a mile for it to come to a halt, it will not stop like a car. So it is with our minds. We can change our way of thinking but it can take a long time to see the outcome. We must believe that when we start to think in more positive ways, that there will be positive outcomes but it can take a while. Have faith in the process and know that you can change course and your depression will end. Be the captain of your ship. Sun in the clouds

Overcoming despair - fighting back

I also realised one other very important fact about depression, which is a hard thing to come to terms with – depression is actually very inward looking because all we tend to do is focus on the self as some sort of victim. It is the poor me syndrome. It is like an addiction to our own mysery. We have to break this addiction of despair and change one’s thoughts away from self to those around us. No matter what baggage you feel you carry, they are your possessions; no one gave them to you. No one ever condemned you to a life of despair and being depressed, only you can do that. This is the toughest thing I had to deal with. I thought if this hadn’t of happened or that hadn’t of happened I would be a happy person; well I’m afraid ‘shit happens’ and I have to deal with it. I realised I could no longer blame the past for the present me, I had to no longer blame anyone for the way I felt, the depression I experienced. It wasn’t my father’s fault, God’s fault, not even my own fault, it is just the way it is. I could no longer indulge myself in regret because that was a self indulgence.

Being at one with life

I also discovered that no one thing is separate from any other thing and no one person is separate from any other person. We are all connected by invisible streams of energy, which means that everything is actually one thing. What this means in practical terms is that when we start to think about happiness and good things, good things and happiness start to come our way but conversely if we think the other way and think about bad things, they will come our way too. We are magnets attracting energy, good or bad, depending on our state of mind.

Tree Of Life

Painting by Merav Wheelhouse Artwork

These invisible streams of energy are probably the reason why a person can feel that someone close to them is in trouble, even though they don’t actually know it because they are a thousand miles apart. It is also the only reason that explains telepathy and our so called sixth sense - we know things but we cannot explain why.

I believe that each and everyone of us has control over our mind and our own world, if we are prepared to accept the fact and determine to change the way we see life. After all, the way we see ourselves and our life is but our interpretation of it.

“I found that the more I focused on the beauty of being, the more beautiful life became to me.”

“Believe nothing,
no matter where you read it,
or who has said it,
not even if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.”

Buddha

Resources:

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